PeaceBang

Friday Max Blogging

Hi everyone

One day I went to Petco this week but i don’t remember and got my nails clipped whichwas terrible it was the worst adn Idid squirm alot which you are not supposed to do but I forgot to say that i really hated it.
In case you didn’t know this beagles which are my people, beagles are very positive and happy dogs and i don’t hate anything except having my ears cleaned, i forgot that i hate that too but I am always GOOD and happy so it takes a lot for me to whine which when i do I sound like a teakettle boiling, that’s what human mom says. the groomer christine wanted to smack me for love-biting her a little bit - it was only play bites I promise just little nibbles like grrr, just playing, see?- human mom was there watching and trying to destract me so christine did not get to sneak in a smack but she did twisted my paws -ouch!- and i would just like to say dont probly go to Petco for nails maybe go for a bath or brushing or something . mom is afraid to cut my nails but i am asking her please to try to learn how to do it right so i dn’t have to go back there please !? it’s Not that hard! also how come they got facials for dogs there at petco ? that smell like blueberry or strawberi? why that is? what dogs that you know do like to smell like a blueberryi on their face? my face smells like a potato chip isn’t that so much better? i confused about that one so is human mom.

but I got over the terrible nail Clipping then i was in the BIG STORE with so many treats and smells!!! but we did not get any treats we got instead we got - wait. first I have to tell you that there was another beagle getting groomed! and a wiener dog and also a cat the same exactly colors as me and I DID get excited - I always get extra excited when other beagles are around i don’t know why - and I did go “baroo!” and then everyone laughed very hard but did you know that it’s HARD to run on the shiny, slippery floor they got in that place?
But anwya we did NOT get treats or any toys that day even though I tried to sneak one big pigs ear into the cart mom found it and said, “no, Max” but we did get some kibble (BORING!) and also this is the most disapointing thing, we got a special collar for me that makes me not PULL. it is a collar kind of thing but goes over my tummy and when i wear it mom can steer me around like a horse. that is my New word, horse, because we have horses who live next to us at first I thought they were just very big dogs. oh if only I could roll in their doots! they smell so good! mmmmm, horse dooties. also my other favorite thing is ice cubes so you can give me one any time, okay?

love, max
P.s. happy fourth of july I hope fireworks don’t scare anyone!

[i so tired after my day at Petco)
PS the cat is cranky and shedding more than me but she won’t sit still to be brushed - she is nawtier than even me rolling in dooties. that’s what i think. but i love her still and hope she will someday play with me.

(you say “hairball” like it’s a bad thing! - Ermengarde)

Driving Tragedy

I was stuck behind a black Toyota Highlander this evening at a red light and then at the drive-through at McDonald’s (I cannot tell a lie) and first noticed the Christian messages plastered on the thing by way of bumper stickers. “Real Men Love Jesus,” one said, and the license plate holder said “Christians aren’t perfect… just forgiven by a God who is!” That’s all I can remember, but there were one or two more, tastefully placed on this elegant gas-guzzler. That alone was not particularly remarkable, but the car was also a moving monument to grief and loss. The sad little legend, “Michael Murphy, April 2, 1992 - June 8, 1994,” was printed in white lettering at the top of the rear window, and also in white graphic and lettering on the lower left hand corner of the window: “The Murphy Family,” with a mommy and daddy stick figure, three children, and a cat. “Never forgotten, always loved” (or something similar) was included under the name of the child and the dates he had lived.

Had the child been killed by a drunk driver? I wondered. Thinking that might be the reason to essentially advertise his death on the family car, I looked for a MADD bumper sticker, but in vain. Who knows the story behind this little one’s death. His parents choose to drive around immortalizing his name and their love for him on their rear view mirror, and that’s their business. Of course, now it’s mine, too. Is this the new evangelism, using our cars as a way to broadcast not only our political, religious or social views but to bring in a whole new level of personal context to why we hold them?

I don’t know. Is this a positive way to deal with trauma, an unsafe distraction to other drivers, or something else altogether? What do you think?

I’m A Blog Mom!

It’s always rewarding to hear from people who say that PeaceBang or Beauty Tips For Ministers inspired them to start their own blogs.

Here’s producer and journalist Anne-Marie Dorning on how a woman named Millie Garfield and I inspired her to start a blog called Massachusetts Mom.
I first met Anne-Marie when she called to see if I would be willing to appear on “Nightline” two winters ago. I declined at first, then went to my Parish Committee to see what they would say. They were all for it, so Anne-Marie came with her crew and filmed this little segment for “A Sign of the Times.” I hated the lead-in, which insinuated that I give fashion tips to my congregants (hello Martin, the name of the blog is Beauty Tips FOR MINISTERS — what about that isn’t clear?), and my congregation and I cringed at the cut-in of the cross that doesn’t exist on our building. Other than those small details (oh, and the suggestion that I spend most of my spare time cruising the malls maniacally pawing through the racks at Macy’s seeking clergy-appropriate garb) and my squealing embarrassment at my own appearance (does anyone really like seeing themselves on camera? Can we re-shoot this now that I’ve lost 30 lbs.?), it was a good segment, a fascinating day, and all the more fun and memorable for the involvement of my delightful colleagues Donna and the Eclectic Cleric.

Mazel tov on your blogging, Anne-Marie!

A Clip From “1776″

I first saw the film “1776″ in 1976, when the movie was four years old and I was a patriotic ten year old. I developed a mad crush on John Adams (played in the film, as on the Broadway stage, by the fabulous William Daniels — better known to some of you as the voice of Kit the Car on “Knight Rider”) which resulted in a life-long adoration.

I’ve seen the musical many times on stage since then (it won the Tony for Best Musical when it debuted in 1969 and was revived successfully in New York not long ago) and try to watch it on DVD every year on or around the 4th. And NOW, thanks to the wonder of the internets, I can share this marvelous show with you! Here is a clip from the Ed Sullivan Show that features some of the opening number, “Sit Down, John” (interesting that Adams’ written lyrics, “GOOD GOD!” have been changed to “Good Lord” in two cases and “What the devil” in one other case — obviously a concession to those tough 70’s era TV censors) and the powerful diatribe against Northern self-righteousness over the slavery question, “Molasses to Rum To Slaves,” sung by Edward Rutledge of South Carolina. If you only know John Cullum from his work as the endearingly mild character Holling Vincoeur in “Northern Exposure,” here he is at his pinnacle of Broadway Super-hunkdom. And oh, what a hunk he was. It’s an amazing and disturbing number about the triangle trade which ends with the mock salute, “Hail Boston! Hail Charleston! Who stinketh the most?”

Go thee and get the movie. Yes, it takes some time getting used to seeing the original delegates to the Second Continental Congress bursting into song. However, the performances are delicious (look for Gwyneth Paltrow’s mom, Blythe Danner — a phenomenal movie and Broadway actress in her own right — as a blushing and bouffanted Martha Jefferson), and the book by Peter Stone absolutely riveting. Yes, there are some historical inaccuracies, but they are obviously not the result of ignorance, but used for dramatic purpose to illustrate something about the characters or to condense actual history for the purpose of moving the plot along. Watch it with your kids and get them hooked on history! Happy Independence Day!

Why I’m Loving On Rev. Gidget Right Now

PeaceBang reader Rev. Gidget sent me a link to a trip to Turkey hosted by The Society For Biblical Studies. I am doing the whoo-whoo happy dance because this is EXACTLY what I wanted at EXACTLY the perfect time, and how often does that happen??

I have been searching for a week on-line for something that was religiously-themed but not Bob Jones University material and here Barb came to my rescue with this totally perfect option and for that I owe her a million billion thanks and also some cocktails on me when we next see each other. Can you tell that I’m breathless?

On a related note, did you check out the faculty of the SBS? I know! Wotta bunch of babes, eh? So much for mainstream America’s idea of the stereotypical egghead Bible scholar! Smart, fit and gorgeous isn’t what I expected but I ain’t complainin’. It’s just… well, can I keep up with these Indiana Jones hotties? Good thing I have almost a year to work my walking legs and touring tootsies, and NO CUTE SHOES are going with me on *this* one. We’re limited to one bag, anyway. What, no separate suitcase for my toiletries? What if I want to give myself an Aveda tourmaline face masque in Kudasi? What if I want to paint my toenails in Athens?

In all seriousness, though… there’s a focus on the god Asclepius on this tour, people! And he and I are like THIS.

Excuse me, I must go do the happy dance again. Max will join me, as he’s very good at it (think Snoopy dancing to Schroeder’s music).

Sabbatical Thoughts

I can’t imagine anything more amazing than being granted a paid sabbatical from one’s work, but I must say that the planning for it is far more time-consuming than I had anticipated. I have this sense that this is THE BIG OPPORTUNITY and want to cram in every bit of travel and learning possible, only to remember colleagues’ advice not to over-plan.

Some ministers take classes during their sabbaticals, or return to seminary for a semester. I’m in a very different place in my continuing education: having just completed coursework for a Doctor of Ministry degree, I should probably avoid the classroom for my sabbatical.

I still want to travel the USA and podcast and blog “Some Good News About Religion” by driving to visit you all and see you in your church/houses of worship setting. I want to hear the ridiculous, the divine, the heart-breaking and the triumphant stories about religious community. But I do not relish the idea of spending 8 weeks on the road.

So far, I envision this:

Early January: teach an intensive course on worship at my seminary. I love teaching and I haven’t offered the class yet this year.
Later January: go somewhere Spanish-speaking and warm, take an intensive Spanish language course, and rest for 2-3 weeks. Any ideas for locations, escuelas?
Mid- February through March: Travel the USA and collect stories for “Some Good News About Religion.” Start by driving South down Eastern seaboard, cut across the South/Southwest, drive up California, return home by Northerly route. (Eek, this sounds exhausting.)
April: Travel to Partner Church in Transylvania for a week or so and then travel to Turkey for Bible-themed tour (the latter is a deep desire I’ve had for a long time). Again, any ideas, recommendations?
Two weeks in May: Home, rest, re-entry.

This might be way too crazy and over-ambitious.

“Sire, The Peasants Demand The Right To Bear Arms!”

So says the frantic-looking lackey to the sardonic, pint-sized king in a frame from the much-missed comic strip, “The Wizard of Id.”
The king, always deliciously arrogant, replies, “Then rip off their sleeves.”
I laughed and laughed when it ran over twenty years ago and have never forgotten it.

Here’s the full NY Times story of Antonin Scalia’s and the other conservative Supe’s latest great contribution to American jurisprudence, with a truly mind-boggling photograph of pro-gun protesters included (the photo could be titled, “White Guys Just Wanna Have Guns” sung to the tune of Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”). Can someone explain the logic of “If guns kill people, do pens misspell words?” Maybe it’s because I’m a bit down in the dumps today and the old mind isn’t particularly keen, but this just plain baffles me. I know someone out there can lay it out like an algebraic equation, a=guns a=pens, there’s an obvious analogy there, let me ’splain it to you. Please do.

Meanwhile, I’m disgusted and sickened by the decision — for some reason, Cher singing “If I Could Turn Back Time” runs through my head — probably because this ruling does seem to turn back time when we should be moving forward with gun control, not insisting that the second amendment really has nothing to do with the 18th century context within which it was ratified.

Aw, hell.
Let’s just tell a few jokes, then.

“They say guns don’t kill people; people kill people. But I think guns help. Just standing there saying bang doesn’t really hurt anybody. - Eddie Izzard

“I’m all for gun control. Sometimes I shake a little; I’ve got to use two hands.” - Tom Kearney

“Why do I need a gun license? It’s only for use around the house.” - Charles Addams

from “The Wizard of Id,” Brant Parker (artist) and Jonny Hart (writer)

These Lyrics Have Been Going Through My Mind All Day

A wonderful song from the show “Pippin” expresses how I feel today as I allow myself to wallow a bit over the end of my great romantic adventure with SweetieBang. The song is sung in the show by Catherine, a woman who meets and loves Prince Pippin and who loses him (but there’s ultimately a happy ending, of course!). SweetieBang does not have a “blunt, abrasive style” but the song perfectly expresses that sense of bittersweet regret any experienced woman feels at the end of a relationship with a truly good guy. He was the best to come along in a long, long while, and blessings be upon him.

I guess I’ll miss the man
Explain it if you can
His face was far from fine
But still I’ll miss his face
And wonder if he’s missing mine
Some days he wouldn’t say
A pleasant word all day
Some days he’d scowl and curse
But there were other days
When he was really…
even worse.

Some men are heroes
Some men outshine the sun
Some men are simple, good men
This man wasn’t one
And I won’t miss his moods
His gloomy solitudes
His blunt abrasive style
But please don’t get me wrong
He was the best to come along
In a long, long while….

George Carlin Dies

What terrible news.

I just adored him.

A lot of you will find this offensive, but he speaks for millions of people (albeit in a far funnier and more obscene manner than they would express the same ideas). It’s his brilliant routine on why religion is a crock, why there is no God, and why he prays to Joe Pesci.

Joe bless you, George!!
Thanks especially for that night in some city hotel when I couldn’t sleep and found one of your HBO specials on TV and stayed up far too late laughing so hard I thought I’d surely lose an eyeball.

[photo by leslie hawes]

Men Disappearing From Jewish Life and Leadership

Here’s an interesting article by Michael Paulson of the Boston Globe about the increasing numbers of women in reform Jewish leadership, and the concomitant decline of male participation in the synagogue.

One part of me hates the word “feminization” and the icky connotations that go with it: ie, when women are in charge religion gets soft and fuzzy, loses its intellectual edge, and becomes concerned so much with daily domestic concerns that it fails to address the need for social change (except within the context of “our children’s future”). On the other hand, some of those generalizations exist for good reason. I’m always disappointed when women preachers preach on cringe-worthy lightweight subjects like dieting, constantly use their own children as sermon illustrations, or degenerate into Oprah-esque New Age babble. I don’t see it a lot, but I do see it, and it’s no answer to the stereotypically male brainy, emotionally disconnected, droning or macho triumphalist exegesis of Scripture that represents the worst of male preaching.

Beyond the clergy leadership, however, my experience is that it’s just plain wonderful to have a good mix of male and female, gay and straight, partnered and single leading the congregation. Some of our women are the toughest, most organized, whip-snap generals you’ll ever see lead a committee. Some of our men are gentle, emotional and thoughtful, bringing classically “feminine” values to a team of straight-talking, irreverent broads. Marrieds with children represent an important demographic of our world, but child-free singles can be just as “the children are our future”-oriented. At church fairs, it is often the men who have the aprons on in the kitchen and the women who are collecting the money at the front door or helping people load their cars with heavy purchases. One of our most talented flower arrangers is a man. Some of our best financial whizzes are women.

The point is, any human organization devoted to cultivation of community and the inner life is impoverished by the absence of male or female. Part of the solution, I hope, is for all religious leaders to cultivate leadership equally among a variety of people and to recruit for leadership with diversity in mind.